Sir Fortinbras and noble knights of the army of Norway, I stand before you today to tell a tale of a martyred hero to whom we must remember. Hamlet be thy name. He was a friend and a leader. About eight months ago Hamlet was distraught, I"d never seen him like this before. He had a good excuse, I mean his father had just died, his mom, god rest her soul, remarried not even a month afterwards. Hamlet"s affair with Ophilia was dwindling in his giant fire of emotions. Ophilia was the kings" servant"s daughter. The king"s servant was Polonious....
and his mom bought it. The king killed his mom for those of you who do not know. Anyhow, I loved that guy, he"ll be missed. If a man,s wealth was measured by how much he was loved then Hamlet was a very wealthy man.

Ah anyway, Sir Fortinbras I beg your forgiveness for this long boring story. I hope since all the people I know are dead and deceased that maybe you and I could be friends. Well you think about it. I have to go help the gravedigger and clean up your new castle. Bye bye now.